Thursday, January 10, 2013

I return it all....

Crash went back to Wonderful Jesuit University this week.  Math Man was at the national math meeting (which to balance out the MLA on the East Coast was held on the West Coast).  Driving distances for me is tough as I'm still booted (my foot, not the car), so I sent him back by train and UPS.  (To be clear, Crash went by train, a large box of his stuff, including the two pillows he grabbed to prop up my foot on the way home, went via UPS.)

As I put him on the train, a line from Ignatius' Suscipe ran through my head, id tibi totum restituo — to You I return it all.  I stood there watching him go up the steps of the train, the conductor looked at me and said, "He'll be fine."  True, but I pray these words somewhat differently these days.  It's one thing to offer to return my (intangible) gifts, I don't have to watch them vanish down the tracks.  It's quite another to offer to return what I nourished inside of me and kept safe under my pinions.

I miss his company in the kitchen, he's a companionable and serious cook, but he's still finding time to bake.  Read his tale of baking Jesuit bread (Wernersville's Brother's bread from the Secrets of Jesuit Bread Baking) at his Jesuit school....

8 comments:

  1. Two words - truly moving. Two more - thank you.

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    1. Fran, intended or not, I loved the double imagery of "moving"...he's moved?! Thank you!

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  2. This is one of the difficult and yet rewarding times of motherhood. I remember so well some of those moments from going off to nursery school to moving out to university and then getting married. It is never easy.

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    1. It's the very essence of bittersweet, isn't it? I'm proud and happy at each step, and simultaneously grieving a bit for what is now past.

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  3. Letting someone go, even for a day's meeting some days, can be a trying act of faith.

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    1. True enough and I though about this as I let my 16 year old take the car to school this rainy morning!

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  4. Am waiting for Margaret at big new local hospital, one of those getting older exams.

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    1. An act of faith there, too....

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