When Crash Kid was young, we had one of those then newfangled tympanic thermometers. It was quick, though not entirely accurate and the Christmas where Crash had an open fracture of his hand -- repaired Christmas Eve -- and the Boy the flu, I have to say it was a godsend. (Though when Crash, too, starting spiking a fever, we had to check his hand ever more carefully, to be sure it wasn't infected. It was a very quiet Christmas at our house that year....).
Crash looked a bit rough around this edges tonight. In an attempt to take his emotional temperature I asked him how it was going. "Meh." "Anything bugging you?" "I don't know." At this point I told him that I wished for the days when I could stick the thermometer in his ear (what would my grandmother have thought of that sentence, I wonder?) and see if anything was really brewing. Couldn't they make an adolescent version? Instead of a temperature in Fahrenheit or Celsius, the display might read "Wish school was over" or "Bored" or "Lovesick".