Friday, August 19, 2011

Feints and faints

Two verbally adept teen-aged boys confined to a small space is a learning opportunity for their mother. I took Crash and The Boy to the local hospital this morning to get some routine blood work done. This meant folding them into my Mini (putting either of them in the back seat requires facility with human origami), where they spent the 10 minute drive reading the lab order slips and suggesting what might be inflicted on the other with the merest flick of the wrist and the making of an additional check mark. I learned that they can't pronounce "progesterone" and that I should hold onto the lab slips in the future. Just in case.

The receptionist in the lobby enjoyed calling them back with a cheery, "Mr. Donnay and Mr. Donnay?" and sent them both off to the same room for the draw. I had learned some years ago that the exam rooms at the pediatrician's had grown too small to hold them both. I learned today that the same holds true for these spaces. Even though the sparring was entirely verbal, I felt like I was continually trying to referee a bout between two fully armored knights holding lances -- on horseback -- in a small castle courtyard.

The Boy was all done and waiting for the tech to release him, when Crash says, "Hey, your hair is weirdly standing on end." For sure. Because he's about to faint. They brought him apple juice and put him flat in a chair and his color gradually returned. Thankfully he pampers well. (The one time I fainted, after giving birth to Crash, I was still saying "I'm fine." as I went down.)

His Facebook status today? "Sigh...I'm a fainter." Just like his uncle, The Artiste!


  1. All my kids are fainters, but they usually save it for church. Just like I used to. And my husband. And my uncle, the priest (I guess he's gotten over it now).

    I am cracking up about the progesterone and the adding of extra tests...can totally picture my 2 teens doing this.

    And I'd like to see how you can get teenagers into a Mini!

  2. "human origami" really made me laugh. Both of my teenage boys are over six feet but will good naturedly fold up if necessary too. It is fun to watch.

    The verbal sparring at my house has worn me out a bit this summer. I think teasing with a sharp edge has become too much of a habit and hurts more than they realize. Your guys' sparring sounds like it was much more in good fun.

  3. They will probably grow up to be prophets.

  4. The "I'm fine"; it wears well!