Thursday, February 15, 2018

Pause. Rant.

Both my work and home emails now have "pause" buttons.  Sadly, the pause doesn't have an autoreply, but if it did, it might say this:

Dear email correspondent, 
Michelle is not responding to this email because her task queue is overfull of items due RIGHT NOW. Or in some cases LAST WEEK!   
If you have a task that is not due RIGHT NOW or LAST WEEK, please do not try to insert it into Michelle's queue. The queue manager (or Michelle) could collapse without warning. 
If you are trying to offload a task you'd rather not do, but in fact have the bandwidth to undertake, this message will be sent to the Purgatory folder.  Michelle promises to pray for the tasks in there, but because time runs differently in purgatory, I can't say that she will get to anything in there any time soon.   
If this is actually a request to Google's servers for information in an email wrapper, please be advised that you can now undertake your own search at  Bonus, you will get to see the Google doodle of the day. 
If you are Michelle, and looking for a time before 2 pm to eat lunch or to go to the bathroom, good luck with that.  Next time, get it on your calendar early in the week. 
With best regards,
Michelle's email queue and calendaring app

And the trouble with the pause button, of course, is that when you release it, you get a flood.


  1. Pause. Rant. BREATHE. I love this post!

    1. The breathe is the critical word, Doris!

  2. BTW, we love your "Not by Bread Alone 2018" -- 50 members of our Adult Faith Development programs at my church.