Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Beyond the cry room: Missals and children at Mass

There is a photo of a pew card reassuring parents that their children are welcome at Mass making the rounds on social media.  The card suggests to parents that it is OK to sit in the front, and reminds others that our future is our children.  It made me think how we welcome families with young children.  Having once been ousted from a church before Mass even began, this is an issue that matters to me.

Many years ago, about five minutes before Mass was to start, my 2 year old's movements in the pew that we alone occupied were deemed too loud by the couple a few pews ahead. I note he was not talking, he was not putting the kneelers up and down, but he was putting his books down with a loud clunk.  In a liturgical space designed to amplify noise without a microphone, any noise is noisy. They complained to an usher and we were ushered out.  As I stopped to button his coat in the entrance to the church, tears were running down my face.  I was mortified. I was distraught at being denied communion.  The sacristan stopped me, wondering what was wrong.  I explained, remarkably calmly, scooped up Crash and left. Welcome, it seemed, we were not.

(The irony of this is that Crash now has a reputation of being a stealth altar server.  He moves through the space of the liturgy, doing what needs doing, without fuss.  He almost slips between the molecules of air.)

In my parish, we baptize at Mass, and the assembly is asked to support the parents in raising their children in the faith.  We can certainly make families feel welcome by tolerating the noise they make, and the inevitable wriggling that comes with children. (I can remember telling Math Man that prayer was a full body workout when the boys were very young.) But how else do we help families bring children into the fullness of their faith?

Missals?  We have hymnals and missalettes available (on the back table, not in the pews) for adults but nothing for children of any age.  There is a basket of random books in the back of the vestibule, many of them religious, but with a definite admixture of Disney.  Why don't we have a children's missal tucked in every pew?  Or in a basket on the back table next to the missalettes?  Why isn't there a list of books on the Mass that parents could purchase in a flyer in the back, with reviews by our catechetical staff?

And why aren't there good missals for children, particularly young ones.  This is my missal from when I was very young (and yes, I could still lay hands on it fifty years later, on the shelf with the rest of my missal collection).  The Mass was still in Latin.  It's illustrated by a well known sacred artist, there are sketches to let me follow the action, the facing pages connected the Mass to scriptural sources, with a rich illustration.  It is a beautiful and dignified prayer book, something I'm hard pressed to say about this or this. Why should not children have access to missals that are, like the books used to to celebrate the liturgy, " truly worthy, dignified, and beautiful" [GIRM 349]?  And sturdy -- our faith isn't flimsy!


8 comments:

  1. I am blessed to be in a parish overrun with children. The children receive an activity sheet called "Explaining God's Word" when they come into Mass. We sell children's missals but it is a great idea to have them available in the pews also. I cannot imagine your pain, Michelle, at being asked to leave; but it would have been felt as well by Jesus who welcomed the children with open arms. I'm thankful that Crash was very young so hopefully has no memory of the incident. The question is whether that would still happen today and if so, how would we react?

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    1. Those are both great ideas, Lynda...the sheet for the week and the availability of missals! I think it is less likely to happen today at this parish, for many reasons. I suspect Crash has no memory of it at all!

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  2. Katherine5:14 PM

    What a lovely book! Who were the author and artist? No doubt it is out of print, and would not match the new missal, but it might inspire some talented people to produce something new.

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    1. It is indeed out of print (http://www.amazon.com/Frere-Jacques-Missal-Anonymous/dp/B000NUR1FY) but still available. And most of the text could remain the same...I would give it to a little one, still.

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  3. I'm a pastor; I do the first ten minutes of every first Communion preparation session myself. I teach children how to behave in church; how to make the sign of the Cross, how to genuflect, because most have no idea. Their younger siblings model off them. As a consequence, our children here in the Adur Valley behave wonderfully at Mass. Fathers, give it a try!

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    1. For certain, modeling works, and so do clear demonstrations. Kids have such sharp eyes, and they are watching all the time!!

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  4. MagnifiKid is a very good missal for children. It's magazine format, new each week, but there's no reason there couldn't be some at the entrance to the church for families to pick up on the way in.
    As to the rest of it, I always try to make it a point to find a way to encourage families with small children--even if it's only a smile from across the church. Kids make noise; there's no getting around it. But they are hungry to learn. I loved seeing a mom last Sunday at Mass who carried her little one to the back when she got squirmy and noisy. But the mom didn't take the child out. Instead, she walked along the back wall, pointing out Stations of the Cross and various statues until the little girl settled down again.

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    1. Both of these are superb strategies, Barb!

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