Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Fiat Lux: Solemnity of Mary

Even on the clearest of winter nights, Philadelphia's stars lack the sharp edges of their rural counterparts.  Light blurs the sky here year round, leaving me perennially surprised by the army of bright burning flames set into the expanse of heaven that arcs over my dad's farm.  The world is charged with the grandeur of God.

Time and space are crumpled and Hopkins' glints shake free from the foil of the universe, light streaming from their edges.  Light from Light.

I walked tonight, the sound of the wind shimmering in the trees, hungering for the clarity of those skies.  Listening.  Listening.  Listening.  For the Word that set all this into play.  Fiat lux....



A view of the Large Magellanic Cloud. Used under a Creative Commons license. Source is here.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Data Driven: 2012

As a scientist, data is sacrosanct.  You don't add to it, subtract from it.   Data calls for a contemplative stance, one that is willing to listen to what the data is saying, rather than what one wants to hear.

In a recent conversation with a friend, I wished that the Catholic Church (and by this I mean not just the hierarchy, but the people in the pews and on the blogs as well!)  were more attentive to what it could learn from data.  The religious life may seem like a solely subjective endeavor, but if it encompasses the whole of who we are, it must perforce treat of the objective and even the numerical.

In that spirit, for the last few years (2011, 2010, 2009) I've dumped the previous twelve months' worth of posts into a word cloud generator to get an objective view of what I'm writing about.  My output is consistently between sixty and seventy thousand words (62,756 this year), a post appearing on average every couple of days.  And what do I write about in this space?  Time. My guys:  Crash and The Boy. Silence and prayer.  God.

I enjoy the accidental collisions of words in these word pictures:  take/hear/God or life/silence/time or in the year where we did so much house rennovation — look/house/good!


Not the goods of the world, but God.
Not riches, but God.
Not honors, but God.
Not distinction, but God.
Not dignities, but God.
Not advancement, but God.
God always and in everything.  — St. Vincent Pallotti

Friday, December 28, 2012

Column: A different kind of Christmas meditation - Coffee with Jesus

You can read all of Coffee with Jesus here, or follow them on Facebook.  For all that I love the smell of a Christmas tree, and adore walking around to see the holiday lights in my neighborhood, my view of the Incarnation sheers off from the romantic rather quickly.

This column was posted at CatholicPhilly.com on 28 December 2012. 

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us; upon his shoulder dominion rests. They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Father-Forever, Prince of Peace. — Isaiah 9:5

My regular spiritual reading list is almost impossibly eclectic. At the top of my stack at the moment are fourth century Father of the Church John Chrysostom’s reflections on Christmas, 20th century Christian apologist C.S. Lewis’ essay The Weight of Glory, theologian Karl Rahner S.J.’s Advent homilies — and Radio Free Babylon’s edgy (and occasionally over the edge) cartoon strip, Coffee with Jesus.

In the strip, Jesus wears a suit and tie, and cradles a steaming mug of coffee as he talks to a cast of characters that could come straight from my local Starbucks: a mother in a hurry, a local pastor, a salesman between calls. And when it appears in my Facebook feed, it always jars me out of my complacency.

The cartoon strip and St. John Chrysostom have more in common than you might think. They share an unflinching perspective on the lived Christian life. “And what about His hunger, cold, chains, nakedness and sickness? What about His homelessness? Are these sufferings not sufficient to overcome your alienation?” comes the voice of the golden-tongued preacher across the centuries. Can I be attentive to the suffering of the mentally ill woman across from me in the ER waiting room? Or do I look away, pretend I don’t hear her?

Radio Free Babylon’s Jesus, responding to a character’s decision to donate to a canned food drive, minces no words either: “And by ‘some stuff,’ you mean some rusty cans of turnip greens and other things you were never going to eat?” Ouch. How generous is my heart, I wonder?

As I put out the manger scene at home this week, I thought about how many times I have contemplated Jesus, like the shepherds, silent in his crib, and been consoled by the thought of God made man, present with us. I wonder if I find this moment in the Gospel so consoling because Jesus is an infant and can’t yet talk. Would I find it as reassuring to sit down with Jesus and have a cup of coffee?

In his Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius of Loyola suggests trying just that. Talk to Jesus, Ignatius urges, as one friend might to another; use your imagination to set the stage for this kind of prayerful reflection with God; don’t let historical detail overly constrain you.

This Christmas season, when I take my cup of tea to sit by the nativity scene on the windowsill to contemplate the Incarnation, instead adoring the infant Savior, I’m imagining that the adult Jesus has stopped by for coffee on His birthday. Could I manage not to fuss about with getting out the good china and warming the teapot, and instead grab two mugs and pour us both a cup of what I have already made? What would He ask me? How would I respond? Could I hear what He had to say to me? The challenging as well as the consoling?

Would I have the courage to listen, rather than speak? To imagine not falling on my knees in adoration when the angels sing, but instead to turn down the Christmas music, pick up my cup, sit down and listen to He who we call Wonder-Counselor and Prince of Peace. Jesus. The Word made flesh.


May God, the Lord, bless us and make us perfect and holy in his sight. May the riches of his glory abound in us. May he instruct us with the word of truth, inform us with the gospel of salvation, and enrich us with his love; through Christ our Lord. Amen. — From the Gelasian Sacramentary

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Silent night, holy night

The twenty-fifth day of December,
when ages beyond number had run their course
from the creation of the world,
when God in the beginning created heaven and earth,
and formed man in his own likeness...
— from the Roman Martyrology

Here we are after the Mass at Midnight (celebrated at 9 pm in my parish).  By what I would consider a true miracle,1 I had breath and voice enough to chant the Christmas Proclamation (as the contralto I really am, not the soprano my choir director knows me as). That was, however, pretty much it for my voice.  Back to vocal rest!

For the moment I'm happily in my chair with my foot up (with a feline to keep it warm), a fire in the fireplace and trying to decide whether I want to read the new book Crash got me (Mysticism in Judaism, Christianity and Islam -- by his Problem of God professor) or play with the new (chemistry) crayons the Boy gave me.

May your holiday be full of grace!


1.  Aided no doubt by 3 days of vocal care — and full rest — and some good medicinal chemistry to subdue the asthma exacerbation the virus that stole my voice.

Monday, December 24, 2012

All is calm, right?

On Friday I had an appointment to see the ankle guy.  When I made the appointment, the scheduler asked if she could send me the various new patient forms to complete by email.  "Sure."  Within ten minutes a link to a web portal and four (!) online forms appeared.  The questions were familiar.  Demographics.  Insurance.  HIPAA.  Medical history.

Ensconced in a comfortable chair, foot nicely elevated, a cup of tea at hand, I methodically ticked off boxes and pulled down dates from menus.  One set of forms, specifically for new patients complaining of ankle and foot problems, were clearly a one-size fits all solution.  Questions about chronic problems were mixed willy-nilly with questions about recent injuries.

So how much trouble had I had in the last four weeks with stairs?  Well, none, until I slipped on a flight of them.  It was all very quantized.  One moment stairs were no trouble at all, the next, they were a (literally) unsurmountable (or descendable) obstacle.  Should I report this as "some trouble with stairs" or "cannot traverse a single step"?  And ladders?  What should I say about my current relationship with ladders?  Just the thought of dragging my booted foot up a ladder makes me quiver.  That would be "no" to ladders.

The funniest question was on the social history:  "Choose the best answer to complete the following sentence:  In the last four weeks, I have felt calm and peaceful...."
All the time
Most of the time
Some of the time
Occasionally
None of the time.
I note that there was no box for "These are the last two weeks of the semester, which are not characterized by 'calm' in my life."  And I couldn't skip the question.  I did have to admit that while my office has looked more like a hurricane hit it, and many of my visitors could hardly be described as calm, I have at least managed to be calmly centered, if not precisely placid.

Even on those suddenly unsurmountable steps....



The news from the ankle guy is, however, good.  I don't need surgery (cue the angelic chorus); recovery expected to be 100% as long as I work hard at physical therapy (enter cherubim), abraded ankles are healing cleanly.  I will spend some weeks in the boot, then graduate to a brace and PT.  All told, I was lucky.  (Roll the credits, Holy Spirit, for protecting my wrists so that I can continue to write for you;  Guardian angel, who sent the delightful graduate students to my rescue)